Went to dinner with a friend tonight, and had a good time. Talked about my impending D a little bit, but it wasn't all we talked about which is good. We even laughed a lot.
As usual, I've been thinking about this whole thing, and I'm kind of angry. I understand what the problems in our M were. The thing is, I started to see an IC almost 2 months before my H left, and was already making steps in the right direction. And when we did S, we didn't see one another or speak for a month, but slowly started talking and seeing one another from time to time. We even ML a couple of times. I guess I don't understand what happened?
How does H go from "I don't want to D, I just need some time" and attending one of my iC sessions, to him suddenly stop all communication and then filing for D? I don't know what went wrong, and I have to accept the fact that I probably won't get the answers either, and I need to be ok with that.
I go back & fourth with emotions and I know it is normal. I am angry with him for the way he has handled all of this, even though I know it isn't anything I can control. I really don't think I would even consider taking him back if he wanted to at this point. He's burned too many bridges.
I finally love myself more.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
