Our internalised changes may take us on a very different path, into the unknown. We have to make them, no question about it, if we are to survive and prosper. But it is extremely hard emotionally, to let go.
I agree with you.
I also think that those who have had a long term marriage and have children have a very hard time moving on.
I married my Husband when I was a teenager. We grew up together, raised our children together, bought a home together, and just figured we would grow old together.
We had plans about how things would be once the children flew the coop, and all of the places that we would travel together. I have photo albums full of happy faces, and home movies of the family.
Nobody believed me when I told them that he was leaving me. I think they thought I was imagining things.
So yes, I get what you are saying.
I also believe that letting go, and moving on knowing that there will never be an "us" again is like dieing a very slow death. There are no words to describe it. But it is a process and even when I reached the point of accepting that my marriage was over, I still had hope that maybe, just maybe he may come to his senses.
I spent so much time learning how to detach, and living life as a single person that when he did finally come home it took a really long time to learn how to reattach again. There was no trust, no in love feelings it was just two people who decided to try and pick up the pieces and make it work.
It was definately a brand new relationship. I was a completely different person. I had grown up and made many changes for the better. I am saddened to say though, as in most MLC stories, he came home as the exact same person that left my house several years previously.
This was the hardest part. I wanted the apologies, and promises for a better future. Chocolates and roses would have been nice too. But I didn't get any of that. If you think you had to be patient during the MLC, then them coming home will truly be a test of endurance.
I have seen several threads on here regarding MLC and having a Spouse return within a year and everything turned out fantastic. Although I am no expert, I am willing to go out on a limb and say that there was no MLC, it just doesn't happen that way. This is a whole other breed of animal.
I hope I am not discouraging anyone by posting these things, but the idea of writing here is to keep things real.
