Thanks for the reply...when I said I did not think hormones were the issue, it was because her lack of desire and interest in sex has been a problem since we were first married, but no, we have not been to a doctor. We are in counseling now and have been discussing each others needs and how we meet them or not. It seems that her top 5 needs are almost opposite of my top 5 and she has indicated that I am meeting her needs while she is only meeting 2 of my top 5 needs. I did go outside the marriage for sex but that has ended which led me to counseling Hoping to find a way for both of us to have our needs met. No she is not ok with need for affection and sex to be met outside the marriage but she says she doesn't know why she feels the way she does. She says the whole idea of sex makes her very uncomfortable. She also stated that she finds it hard to be affectionate because she fears it will just lead to sex. Seems like we are in a catch-22 situation. Are there success stories for sexual aversion that has lasted 20+ years? We are both willing to work and make compromises, but it seems she will have to address some of her fears and anxieties about sex before we can meet each other halfway. Thoughts?
