Me: Yes I understand. It is impossible to trust when you fell everything has been taken from you. You wanted a family and although we can still work on that, I know you can't bring yourself to have that much faith in someone who has let you down. I'm sorry.
(W): i dont know where my life is going, i dont no longer have a future to look forward to, so now i will wake in the morning and see what [censored] life will throw at me next, seems thats all im good for, i suppose i hope they find i have cancer, so i know i wont be around for long and can join my dad , as i have no future anymore and to be honest i no longer want one, i didnt want you knowing where i am because i wanted you to leave me alone,as i knew you would be over and i couldnt cope with anymore you throw at me, and to tell me you have another female friend and one of (G's) was yet another kick in the teeth. seems like i lived life only of dreams that was never to come true, and they didnt did they you made sure of that. its no good saying you can change all that as its to late to turn back the clock, my life is in ruins and is over, nothing you can say or do will change that
[20:47:36] Andy Laptop: Your life can go whereever you want it to go, you are in the driving seat and like me, at some point the fog will clear and you will see your destination. Your future is also up to you, although I undersatnd we are finished, you can still enjoy your life, once you allow yourself to. I found it very hard to change my head from the misery and fog I was in. I did it though because I wanted to be better than Iwas. It is early yet, but I am getting there. I have realised for some time that there was little chance of you coming home when you feel so hurt and disappointed by the marriage. But it was still something I had to do and one day, your fog will lift and you will smile again, but you have to want to. I am sorry you feel I have been throwing things at you. I was doing my best to be cool and back off to give you the space you wanted, I'm sorry I didn't do that as well as I could have. I certainly would never have invited myself over without your invitation, so I am sorry you feel that distrusting of me. As for female friends, I was invited out once and I returned the compliment once, with someone who knew me and knew what I was going through. Even though her intersts do not include men, she was good enough to care. I have no interest in anyone else, please understand that.
(W): i have no faith in you as you let me down to many times
Me: The dreams are all there but you can never trust me again so they will just have to stay as dreams that could have been. It is no use trying to turn back the clock, what is done is done, we can only move forward now. You will always have no trust in me because as you say, I have let you down so many times. That's why I am accepting your decision without argument, there is nothing I can say except that you are right, you will never be able to have any faith in me.
(W): i dont want any help from anyone now, i have truley given up , i dont care what happens to me anymore,
Me: Yes I see that and understand how being knocked down makes you unable to get up again sometimes.
(W): ive done my share of crying and still am , im crying because of all the oppertunities that was taken away from me by you
Me: I can see in your eyes how hurt you are, I just wish I could hold you and take the hurt away but I know I can't. The opportunities were still there but you will never trust me again, so they will just have to be memories of what could have been. Shame though, we could have been so good.
(W): dont tell me that , been there and done that so many times with you, but you never cared or listened to me , so please dont start now
Me: I'm not, I understand how you feel and accept that you will never have any love or trust for me again. It hurts like hell but I deserve every bit of the pain and more for putting you through it.
(W): you have only yourself to blame for that and yes things could of been good but you chose to change all that for me you have taken my life away, now i hope you are satisfied,
Me: I do blame myself, I beat myself up every minute about it. I know how it could have been, if I had taken the chance when it was there. But now I am going to pay the ultimate price for making you unhappy
(W): i dont want to talk anymore ,im to upset to anymore
Me: OK. Try to sleep. I'm so sorry. xx
(W) shant see you again as you say you could never be a friend so this is my final goodbye , i will get your phone and dongle back, i would like to have my stuff out of the attic, my teddy from my god parent is sentimenal
