Update: So I read the part in DR about trusting your gut when your spouse won't end the affair. So I confronted her, told I knew that she was continuing and I was done. No more putting up with it, no more mr nice guy around the house waiting for her to make a decision. So she came to me the next night and told me she was going to move out for a little while. I told her I supported her decision. She waited 4 days to finally tell the kids and then had a massive breakdown. I held her while she sobbed, but that was it. She said it must be good that it hurts her so much to leave. So last night she finally left, but says she wants to come visit lots and be around the kids. I told all I wanted was a heads up when she was coming, respect our schedule. While she was packing, the OM texted her again... I think it will take her a while to sort out her thoughts (MLC) and get over her affair (if she stops). I am working through the DR book, but she seems to be so insistent that this wont take long, she's only taken a few clothes and such. Ok - so I want the affair and ended and I told her that was the deal breaker for her to be able to come back. Obviously she needs to say/feel and do more than that (unlock the cell phone/computer/phone records, admit affairs, feel remorse) Any other thoughts on boundaries?
