Hello all, this will be the second time I've typed this out lol...for some reason the first time didn't post.
Anyway, I've viewed this forum a few times and have enjoyed reading it. I decided to join up and post. I'd love to hear everyone's suggestions, advice, etc.
My wife and I were married for about 5 years. During that time, without me realizing it, we were having lots of problems. Mainly, I was an alcoholic who didn't pay enough attention to her. She had a couple of extra-marital affairs. Anyway, last August, she up and moved out without warning. She had fallen for another guy and thought she loved him. In the meantime, she filed for divorce. Well, I did what I could to get her back (except stop drinking) and she moved back in in December of 2010. During that time I had met another woman and begun a relationship with her. When my wife came back, I increasingly turned to alcohol to deal with the pain of losing her the first time and then as a way to refuse to deal with our problems. I just kind of zoned out if you know what I mean. This hurt her greatly. We were in counseling with a good marriage counselor who recommended one of Michelle's books. Anyway, I just wasn't into it and had become so sick from the alcoholism that I just wanted to drink and we fought about it a lot. Also, I kept communication with the woman I had met while my ex and I were separated. My wife came home from work one night and caught me texting with the other woman. She immediately moved out. I saw this as an opportunity to drink as much as I wanted. I know, that is stupid, but that's what I did. Anyway, finally she had enough and moved on. She's now dating another man and professes love for him. He lives about 7 hours from hour home town and they see each other every few weeks. This has been going on since about August. When it first hit me that everything might be over, I did exactly what I shouldn't do. I pursued her and badmouthed the other guy. I realize now that this pushed her more towards the other man. Anyway, since that time, I've been 42 days sober. A few weeks ago, my ex and I had a blow up over text message where I said some cruel things and brought up her infidelity again. To cap it all off, I told her that she shouldn't contact me anymore. We have two dogs which were her life for a while (not so much any more as she found some new hobbies with a different breed of dog, and this is how she met the new guy). Anyway, I told her that she shouldn't ask me about the dogs or anything. She blew up at me and we didn't speak at all for 11 days. Yesterday I gave in and texted her. We had a short text message exchange and it was positive. I'm hoping to contact her again in about a week for hopefully another postive text exchange. I don't think she would initiate contact with me on her own.
Anyway, I've done some new things with my life like take up scuba diving and I've been hanging out with friends and trying to stay busy. I'm just looking for some advice on how to proceed. Any help or advice is very much appreciated. It's silly, but in addition to the counseling, I've even been seeing a psychic lol. Makes me feel better I guess. I'm just so torn up inside. Thanks again! My other post was much longer with more detail so if anyone has specific questions, I'm happy to answer them if I may have left things out here.
To Moderator: This post can be deleted. I double posted without realizing the first post had to be approved by a moderator before showing up. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
