Thank you again 25. Has anyone ever told you that you have a gift of putting things into clear perspective?
Last night h and I were watching a show (American Horror Story to be exact) and it portrays a man who had an A on his wife. When it was over with, he said he liked the show but the rest of it made him feel bad about some things. He went to the kitchen and I was picking up in the living room and he called me in there and he said, "I made a big mistake, and I almost threw everything away. I lost my mind. I know that at one point I wanted to be free, but now I don't, I want my family".
I gave him a hug and I told him how happy this made me... and then he said, "I made the mistake of not coming to you when I was unhappy about us."
All of this truly feels surreal. I don't know what woke him up... wait, yes I do. I'm going to be honest. I stormed heaven with prayers for weeks on end... asking God to speak to my h's heart. So I feel I need to give praise to Him. I think he led me to this forum, I think he had his hand in the way things played out with h and ow.
When the subject of MC came up again and how we both felt it was not helpful... h looked at me and asked, "So what will we do? I'd like to do something..." and I did mention him going to a c on his own, and I mentioned retroveille. He seemed interested in going to this.So when we get moved and settled I'm hoping one will come up in our area.
As he gets ready to leave for the bay area in two weeks, I feel that the ground we stand on is not as shaky as it was, but it's still shaky. I'm still nervous about the separation. He has told me that he feels good about the move and that he feels like the separation won't hurt us.
I'm so thankful for this forum, and all of you who have been supportive... who have given me some straight up advice. I think db-ing has really helped me. I've learned a lot about myself. How *I* stopped having a life for myself and how important that is.
You're so right though, 25... I need to just enjoy each day as it comes now... and remember that this move will be good for me, whatever happens.
