It's time to let go part II

[Rick1963]

Thanks for the support everyone I'm gonna need it for the next few weeks or months. I don't know if I drag this out will it save my M? I don't think so my W is deep in the fog and fast forward towards D. Wished I had found this site many years ago. i would have learned how my W showed me love. Her ways were to give me presents and do loving things such as cook, make breakfast. She was not much of a hugger even though she would say that if she wanted to touch me i would push her away. I don't think that it's true since the way I show is by touching hugging and being physical. If I ever have a new partner I will keep this in mind.

Today my emotions are all over the place. Depressed, afraid, angry, lonely. You name it I have it. I'm really hurt that W goes on as if nothing is happening, as if she is buying a car or groceries.

What have I done to change me and save my M. Well I tried AD, I have a C, I joined a group. I come here for 2x4's advice and support. I have owend up to my flaws. I died my hair ( even though noone noticed it). I think I tried everything to save my R. Maybe not, I don't know. But if D ever ask I can tell her that I did everything possible

I was only able to saty in the group for 1 hr as I was feeling down and tired. The guess speaker changed to next Monday but we had a pastor speak briefly and he said that they pray for our group often even when we are not there. i spoke to one the males there he is 65 said his W has filed 3 x's and that every so often she goes crazy, becomes mean and malicious. He said he has had enough. He wants a D. He would not stop talking about his sitch and I did not have a change to talk about mine. we saw a tape regarding finances after D. Pretty scary. Talking about God really helped.

the one thing is even if we D in 2 weeks we still have to clean and sell the house. That could take months. It's going to be weird being d and living together. God help me.