untethering

[Finah]

Aeo’s WW growing and gaining independence….. perhaps years later but not currently. 
 
From Schnarch’s POV I think he would say she failed miserably, especially when she reached this gridlock.
 
 
What she should have done was gain that independence in the marriage and grow from that…….that would be progression
 
Her choices……regression……perhaps in her warped mind it’s progression….but even then she doesn’t believe it herself when you look at what she says.
 
 
 
There would be less A’s in M’s if people had better personal boundaries and they lived in reality.
 
It’s why A’s happen in good M’s and bad ones……..the conditions for an A are present in every M.
 
And those that think there aren’t are the same ones that should be looking.
 
 
 
All you have to do is read the thread that was started yesterday by a WH whose A ended years ago
 
Still blames his BW for HIS AFFAIR.
 
Of course now that she has moved on and gained her own independence…..now he wants to save his M.
 
Fact is…..he won’t save his M……b/c he still has the wayward mindset that his A isn’t his fault.
 
And that is one of the huge problems with society in general……..it’s never anyone’s fault…..it’s always well something led them to do this or that.
 
Aeo has more than owned his side of things.
 
 
And there will never be a chance at full recovery or full reconciliation unless his WW….owns the entire A.
 
 
I have been down that road….where the BS takes ownership of the WS A….it doesn’t work……