First, I'm glad you have reconsidered the bed issue. Manipulation will come back to bite you so steer clear. Also, in the grand scheme of things, is that really a priority considering the other major issues you are currently facing?
Second, I'm glad you are feeling hopeful tonight. We all could use a dose of hopefulness once in awhile. But, you have to be prepared for the inevitable downswing that will happen whether you like it or not. One day you'll be up, the next you'll be down. If you doubt me, reread the posts on my sitch. Yesterday I was feeling pretty upbeat for obvious reasons, then today I'm down in the gutter.
Third, as I read through your posts, I think it is going to be very important for you to do some more digging to uncover the real issues behind the breakup of your marriage. Only then will you truly be able to fix the things that need to be fixed. If you just focus on the surface stuff, the real culprit will resurface and you'll be back where you are now or worse. So please dig deep, make the changes, make them stick, do them for yourself and see what develops.
Finally, one of the big challenges when people are in the midst of DB'ng is this thing called pursuit. Things that you might not even realize as pursuing may actually come across that way to your H. Be very careful here. Don't beg, plead, say I love you, any of that stuff. Even asking for simple favors or looking for excuses to see or talk to your H is all a form of pursuit. If you want to draw your H back to you, avoid this at all cost. Otherwise you risk pushing him further away.
Hang in there BM, things will get better......eventually.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
