untethering

[aeolianchaos]

Do you think that the increased level of intimacy of marriage plays a role in why it happens?

I'm speaking about the intimacy of seeing someone beyond their self-presentation.. the trench warfare stuff.. the intimacy that we don't like.

I think your point toward people getting lazy in relationships is also a good one and I think that people do perhaps go too long in a comfort-phase. It makes sense to me that this could happen and perhaps there is some fantasy that once married there is a kind of monopoly that enables the spouse to be less responsive than they were during courtship.