A Bklyn tale

[BklynMom]

Gypsy thanks so much for reading & commenting on my post.

Right now I am not going to do anything to get my d to mention the bed she will most likely mention it on her own to him. If I asked him to go get a bed it wouldnt be a 180, I am trying not to tell/ask him to do anything, he needs to think of it on his own. If I make the suggestion or ask him to get the bed he will think I am pursuing and that I dont take his threats of divorce seriously. "Dont you get it its over!" Its so tricky. ugh

I am thinking a lot about what you said about just saying I dont need anything if I dont need anything. I really have to think about that one. I am naturally honest perhaps to a fault. Being "honest" is how I rationalize being mean b/c I am telling the truth. If it makes someone feel better whats wrong with asking for apple juice eventually I will need it. It does make my H feel better when he can help out - therefore he has started taking the garbage out again when he comes over.

We just had another nice interaction on the phone. He called my ds to ask them about Halloween. I do my best to engage as little as possible but since the girls are sooo little I do become a translator of sorts. There was a warmness in his voice that I havent heard in a while. My d also asked him if he had a picture phone so we could see him. H said he didnt have internet where he was. We used to do picture calls all the time but since I have stopped initiating the calls - H has initiated voice only calls. Is it too painful for him to see what he is leaving behind??

One great sign was at the end of the call tonight H said - I love you girls. It felt like subliminaly I was included with the girls since this is how he used to refer to myself & daughters. It made me happy.

Again H told girls he couldnt be there because of work which isnt a lie but...

I felt such hope tonight. Just glimmers of positive signs which I hang on to.