Harrier may be right about that. A lot of time it seems that people have made a lot of mistakes by the time they get here which has driven the wedge even deeper. I was lucky to find a reference to this site almost right away so I could put it into practice more or less immediately. Had I not read this I would have tried pursuing, reasoning, begging, pleading etc. which undoubtedly may have pushed us into the unreconcilable category.
It obviously also depends on the emotional maturity of the people involved (particularly the WAS), as well as how bad the marriage got before it blew up. People can be very mean and abusive, if that was going on it's obviously a much longer road back to "healthy", etc.
Where I came out was that working on me, and improving myself wasn't going to hurt. If I could be a better partner in a relationship, it would certainly serve me well next time around if not this time. The second marriage failure statistics are rather grim and that resonated with me -- if you don't clean up your issues, you're pretty much going to end up in the same place with someone new, then have two sets of luggage to drag around with you.
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
