Yes this is her choice. The point is that she's 29 now, you've been going out since she was 20, and maybe she feels she missed out on something. Happens all the time. It's not a form of regression. Many times people hit a point where they feel that they weren't able to grow personally because they felt tethered to another person for so long. It may not be in your case, but it happens.
In terms of the compassion issue. Think about when you first date someone. How do you act around them? You usually hinge on everything they say. You encourage them. Laugh at their jokes, etc. In a sense, you try to understand them. You try to understand their POV. However, after being together for awhile, that willingness to understand goes away. That's why so many people fall for A's. If people continued to treat their spouse the way they did while they were dating, it would eliminate alot of problems.
In any case, understanding her POV will only help you whether you remain in this relationship or not. When you find yourself putting yourself in your W's shoes, you'll be able to know how to interact with her better. It's how the trust can be re-established. It's happened time and time again. But many people don't have the patience to do it.
DBing teaches that when you do the 180 - changing behaviors that push the spouse away. That comes from understanding their POV.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
