W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[25yearsmlc]

sandi,

check out what his DB coach is telling him (to move out and give her the space she says she wants, and possibly speed up the demise of the affair, or so I'm assuming) and read HIS own history of being pretty much what he describes as "very selfish" and...well,

her needs have gone unmet a long time. She has not had it easy. He played a role in this and I for one am glad he gets that. Which is also why I think there's hope in this sitch.

However, 2t, as sandi says, don't be so fast to blame OM for her pain. She may be feeling guilt and pressure and all that, but that's a normal thing for someone with half a conscience.

So does that mean YOU file for divorce to smooth the exit for her?'

I don't think so...but blaming DB for any of this seems really odd to me.

How have your improvements possibly worsened things? Seriously...

by that rationale, you should scream at her and call her all the horrible names in the book and threaten to hit her

all so she can feel great about divorcing, and then there'd be clarity...??

I don't think so. I think you are confusing her and that's not a bad thing. She based her choices on who you had become and now you are throwing a wrench into those plans...but

unless she's had a history of mental/emotional illness or a present diagnosis of one,

then stay focussed on YOUR own personal work.

Sometimes we use other's pain or symptoms to keep us from working on our own character flaws.