W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[2thepoint]

I'm very concerned about my W's emotional state. It is one thing to cry, it is entirely different to sob uncontrollably as my W was doing this morning. The last time that happened was shortly after she dropped the bomb almost 2 months ago. I'm only concerned that DB'ng is making things worse for my W.

Maybe that is what has to happen for real change in all of us to occur, but it is very frightening to see. I read "ninelives" sitch last night as you suggested in a previous post and that is what has me very scared for my W.

Perhaps I shouldn't care about these things and continue to focus on me which I will continue to do. It is just so darn tough to see the one you love in such pain and not do something, anything to help alleviate her suffering.

This is what is running through my mind.

I too am hurting, but I guess my grieving is different than my W's. I know my DB'ng has been making a difference in me and the lives of my children and my W is noticing. Perhaps she is freaked out by the changes, not thinking I was capable of making these changes and now thinks she can't put the genie back in the bottle, even if she wanted to. Deep down, my fear is that maybe she is right. That we will never be able to R because to much damage has been done, too much hurt, too much pride.

Intellectually I know that this is a very long process. The path along the way however is riddled with unexpected potholes that are really tough to deal with having never been down this road before, (I know, keep the path home smooth and paved).

So it is these types of matters that start to crop up as I journey down this path that have me questioning if what I am doing is the right thing to do.

If I want to save my marriage, then I guess the answer is yes it is the right thing to do. There is just so much uncharted territory that I'm feeling extremely vulnerable.

I hope that makes sense.

For everyone who has taken the time to read up on my sitch and post comments, please know that I appreciate it tremendously. The variety of perspectives is very helpful. Even if I don't always like what I read, I know that you are all here to help and not hinder. So, thank you!