A Bklyn tale

[BklynMom]

Thks 2tp so much for your feedback I have thought a lot about the questions you posed today. It is great to have another point of view.

DIM I have have been following your story for a while and am thinking about what you wrote. Thks so much for your post. I think you and 2tp are right that I shouldnt get my d3 to mention the bed. However I am not going to buy her a big kid bed right now and see if maybe she mentions it on her own without prompting. I'll give it a few weeks then just get her the bed.

I have been thinking a lot about 2tp comments that I may be manipulative in my M. And I dont think I am manipulative, especially with my husband - I didnt need to be manipulative, he would do whatever I asked of him. I wouldnt even have to ask - he was very dotting. I definitely abused and took him for granted but he took a lot of iniative in his (what I percived to be) over bearing dotting ways.

I was a fool. My H constantly wanted to hug me or kiss me & I would often push him away "Cant you see I am busy making dinner!! I dont have time for fun!" I did not accept his love. I am a fool! I thought we made love enough 3-4/mth but it was not enough for him, he wanted more and I rejected him on that level as well. Such a fool!

Def. stressed from "trying to do it all" type of woman. 2 kids, 2 careers - having all these ridiculous expectations for the kids eating only healthy home cooked food and no tv. It was too much for both of us.

Regarding if there were any signals that the 2x4 was coming, I would really have to say no. My H constantly told me he loved me. Constantly reassured me after my meltdown that it was okay - I was the best woman for him. Always said he had 3 girls in his life. Loved to pat my rear whenever he had the chance. I have vm & texts from just days before saying I love you baby.

When I felt some tension in our marriage I brought up this friend that was divorcing and he said "Baby that will never happen to us" & gave me a huge hug. Frankly I believed him, why would he lie? ILYBNILWY was 1 wk later. His not telling how he felt is a huge factor in this sitch and if/when we reconcile it will need to be addressed. I realize that I need to listen better and stop talking as well.

I do know that I would not be getting the help I am getting now if it wasnt for this crisis. If H had merely mentioned my issues I would be going to a crappy C that was covered by my insurance, that was convinently located, I would constantly miss appts then I would quit b/c nothing was happening. Instead I am going I go to expensive IC 2/wk, am on AD and as many ALANON meetings as I can get babysitting for. This full blown attack on my own mental health is really changing me. I have made enormous strides and cant imagine my life again with IC & ALANON. I need those things in order to be sane and not hurt the people I love.

My relationship with my parents & sister have improved dramatically. They have shown up big time & are an enormous part of why I am able to function at all. I really appreciate them & my 2 little angels more & more each day. I am so blessed.

Thks for reading & I will keep on keeping on being the woman only a fool would leave!