Why was there no course map for this marathon?

[Rick1963]

JB and WHG you guys are awesome dads. Your kids are lucky just have fun with them. My D and I are getting to know each other and spending more time together. She thinks 'm a great dad and I believe her.

[realormakebeliev]

JB and WHG, have you tried meetups.com? No idea if there is one, but maybe you can find a group for single dads.

Single moms aren't immune to this, either. Its crazy how much you notice all the families out and about this time of year. Almost all of my friends are married, and who wants to hang out with the single mom? Third wheel, anyone?

[workinghardguy]

meetup.com isn't very useful in my area. There's like three groups on there because I live fairly rural. I suppose I could create a group and see what happens though...

[jbnati]

Though I did start thinking that maybe married dads would be ok too. I know the whole dynamic of married guys going out with single guys, and wives not loving that. But a married guy/single guy "playdate" for their kids? Really? I can't imagine many wives who would be against that.

I guess it depends on the dynamic. I've gotten together with a couple we were mutually friends with before the fan got bogged down so to speak. I also have a guy at my church who's suggested just getting together and watching some football. He has a 13 year old son and maybe him and my S can get together and play video games. But you're right - I think it just depends on how much their wives know about us.

JB and WHG you guys are awesome dads. Your kids are lucky just have fun with them.

Thanks for that Rick. You bring up a good point. My relationship with my S has always been pretty good, and we've always enjoyed spending time together. My W has excelled at getting together with friends that turn into his friends. It's really a good balance and we kind of complimented each other that way. Now I am feeling a little pressure to provide that part of the equation. I probably shouldn't be, and I'm guilty of comparing myself to my W, or actually competing with her on that (and I defintely shouldn't be doing that!)

JB and WHG, have you tried meetups.com? No idea if there is one, but maybe you can find a group for single dads.

I just checked it out. I think it's really geared toward Dads who are really single. When I think about further, though. My church is actually a good resource, too. I think I'm just ramping up on it though. I'm probably just wanting results too quickly.

Single moms aren't immune to this, either. Its crazy how much you notice all the families out and about this time of year. Almost all of my friends are married, and who wants to hang out with the single mom? Third wheel, anyone?

Who wants to hang out with single Moms? Probably single Dads! Believe it or not, there are men out there that see a good Mom as attractive. However, that's not where I am right now. I'm not really single. It would run a risk of derailing my game plan. I don't want to put myself in that position.

I am glad to hear single Moms struggle with this, too. And I do know what you mean in regards to being the third wheel.

[jbnati]

Today was a mixed bag today. I had some good things with some drama mixed in.

It was a good day at church today. I feel like since I'm getting so involved, I am just getting to know so many people. I can't even say how many people I talked to this morning. The biggest problem was I just didn't have enough time. That's a nice problem to have. One thing this situation has done for me is it's really brought me out of shell. I have forged a lot of healthy relationships.

I took my S out to a corn maze this after we ate lunch. We had a great time.

Then the drama of the day struck. I was at home watching the Bengals game and the phone rang. It was my W. I picked up the phone. Evidently, she had purse-dialed me or something. I knew better, but after I figured that out, I stayed on the phone. I heard my W's voice and a male voice, and I eavesdropped. Ostensibly, it sounded like a date. The conversation was pretty innocuous, but I will say the guy didn't sound really top shelf. I can't say it's a surprise, but it still hurts. It also makes me concerned about what my W is getting herself into. The good side of this is I was able to dump on a friend and I felt a lot better. I am truly blessed in all of the support I getting both here on this message board and off the message board.

I rounded up this evening by taking my S to another trunk or treat a buddy of his had invited him to. He had a pretty good time. I met his buddy's parents.

I will have to say I was still a little irritable with my S after that incident regarding my W earlier today.

On another note, my S has asked me to pray for my W and her happiness during our bedtime prayer. He added to it tonight and asked me to pray that she would take better care of him when he's with her. He said she never has anything at her place for him to eat.

[jbnati]

First day off work for vacation this week. I still had to get up this morning to get my S off to school.

After he left, it was time to start cooking for adventure. Today marks the first of my life I've ever made anything in a crock pot. So I thought I try my hand at chili.

I met my S at school for lunch today. I have met him at least once a week for lunch since the school year started. As has been the case, I smuggled in Chipotle again. There are couple of kids that actually look for me because they want some hot salsa and chips. I even went out to recess today and played 4 square with my S and 4 other kids.

I am going to try to hit the bike path today for 18 mi. or so. It was raining this morning, but it's cleared off now.

My W had asked if I was OK if she came over for trick or treat. I told her I was fine with, that it may be helpful. That way, I can just walk around with my S. I'll offer her some chili, too. It will be helpful if she comes, but there is part of me that's OK if she doesn't come, too. I'm still not liking this person she's turning into. Part of it is that I've learned to overlook some stuff I didn't like over the years, and now that stuff's re-surfacing, too.

[Rick1963]

18 mi bike ride. That is impressive. Since reading your stich JB I have been feeling like pulling my bike out at least on the weekends. I'm not a great bike rider but love ridding it. Sorry to hear that your W does not have anything for your S to eat. The way a WAS thinks, I'm not surprised. I trully believe that all of their energy is used to persue whatever crazy fantasy they are running to. My W has also stopped stocking up on food and water just bare minimum. I also noticed last week that we only have 2 or 3 spoons in the house? So I bought some yesterday and my W said there must be some where in the house? Oh well Have a great one

[In_Shock]

wow --- that purse dialing thing. I'm sorry about that. Technology sometimes just hurts us!!

I agree with Rick -- their energy is being used to pursue whatever they are running to. For example, my W tonight is going out with OW and letting her MOM take S trick or treating. (I can't I am in class)

[jbnati]

Thanks Rick & IS.

Yes, I agree, they are using their energy to pursue a dream made of smoke. Personally, I choose to pursue my best possible self, and that which is real.

I ended up having a pretty good ride today. I got 18 miles in on the bike path.

My W did text me right before the bike ride and ask what time trick or treat was. I texted her back with the answer and mentioned there was chili in the crock pot.

My W made it for trick or treat, albeit she was a little late. It was helpful having her pass out candy at the house while I went out and canvassed the neighborhood with my S. The couple of times we came back to the house, my W had her phone out. I tried not to think about who she could be texting or whatever. Of course, I had my phone out, too, but I was monitoring this message board on it. I will have to say I felt some anxiety while I was out trick or treating with my S.

When we got home from trick or treat, my W had shut down and was inside talking on the phone. After yesterday's incident, I assumed the worst, and shot her a couple of dirty looks. I found out after she got off the phone she was talking to her Mom.

She ended up staying for chili. She actually liked it. I thought it was pretty good, too. I pulled it off! I was pretty excited about it! I probably let it show a little bit too much. My first time ever using the crock pot. I think it kind of knocked my W off balance a bit - she was asking outside earlier if the chili was homemade and I confirmed it was. She asked about the ingredients when we were inside. The conversation was for the most part, pleasant. I did my best to set last night's incident aside in my mind. She offered up an indirect complient. A friend of hers had said I look like a totally different person after my weight loss. On the flip side, she did ask me when I want to go and work on splitting up the phone plan. It didn't sting as much as the first time, though.

[jbnati]

It was a beautiful day today. Since I'm off work this week I opted to take advantage of the weather to abuse my body. I rode for 50 miles today. There were hills included.

I had a very brief interaction with my W today. She came to pick up my S for the evening. Once again, it was a pleasant interaction. At least things are cordial and even friendly at times. She apologized she couldn't stay longer. Why? It's all right. I had things to do.

I had my relationships group / ladies' group at church tonight. It was a good meeting. My group leader is so encouraging. She's been D'd twice before and she's able to give me insight on any signals my W may be giving off. I also know her and many others are praying for us.