To be honest though, in order to know some of the details of my sitch, you would have to read back some, and if you haven't been around for a while, well, I wouldn't expect you to do that...
My S is an adult. Starting college in January. Possibly off to the military in two years. We have yet to see where his journey is going to take him...It may very well bring him closer to me in the future...
That is his road and his choice...
Is it hard? Harder than you can imagine. Wouldn't be any different though if he had left and I had stayed...
However that was not a part of my journey...
The location that I lived in, was not where I was meant to be. I have known that, as long as I lived there. I stayed initially out of fear and further down the road, out of convience. Then out of compromise to what others wanted.
As the MLC crazy train left the station a second time, I decided then that the ONLY way I would remain there, was if my STBX did a huge turn around. Which was not likely to happen. I started looking at me, what I needed and wanted in MY life. And what I would need in order to make my life a happy one for me.
My answers, started with location. With environment. With nature and nurture. To nurture my soul, to have peace within, my surroundings on the outside, needed to change. To mountains, seasons, snow, colored leaves, the quietness that comes as winter settles in and animals and plants go into hibernation. Then spring comes, and everything is reborn, fresh and new. Rejuvinated. That doesn't really happen in Florida. So my time there was coming to an end and I was fully aware of that fact.
Anyway, my son and I are finding a new kind of relationship. One that is of mother and child but also of mutual respect of two grown people. One that will be filled with visits and new experiences for us both.
The signifigant other that you mentioned, is simply a bonus in my life. He had nothing to do with the journey I took through MLC, and nothing to do with where the house landed for me, however, hopefully he will continue to be a part of the journey I continue to take...
If not, I will be ok. My life, my happiness,my journey, is dependent on only one person, and that is me.
If you have learned anything on your journey through Oz, I am sure that you are aware that MLC brings us changes that we may never have imagined. Experiences that we may never have thought were possible. Sometimes it shows us where our line in the sand is. Sometimes, it does not. However, our lives may never look again as we once thought they should...
Our answers, are not always what we believed they were.
And our acceptance of that, is not a bad thing.
I hope life brings you peace.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
