Grace, Love, Compassion, and Faith - Good Stuff

[JustStunned]

Val, I recently have gone through a similar trial. I don’t have a long perspective to look back upon this from, and time has not proved the wisdom or outcome so what follows is mostly opinion.

I think most of the actions we take to secure ourselves are merely taking control of our lives in the present and enabling us to secure a more pleasant future. I equate this with detachment, for it permits me to be effected less. The more I am in control of myself and my immediate environment the less likely the wind howling outside will affect me, and the better I can begin to ignore it.

Provided we do this without rancor, in a fair and equitable manner, removing feeling of injustice and anger we enable them to detach also. They may not see it, but if we can see our actions within our sense of honor we can be at peace with it. Just as anger breeds anger, peace eventually breeds peace.

You have no control over how she will perceive your actions. There will likely be some probing for weak points. There may be some negotiation. Perceived weaknesses and emotions may be used as levers. Hold to what you believe is fair. Weakness and hand wringing are not attractive.

I believe you are doing what you believe is just. I do not perceive fault with it. I know it is difficult. Please know you are becoming a better person with each positive you perceive. They are foundation blocks for your future.

There are pitfalls and trip wires yet ahead. They will be negotiated with honor and strength

(((Val)))