Back home - but for how long?

[workinghardguy]

Nice try Peter No, you can't blame a guy...

But on that topic, what worked for me (though every sitch is different) is first W and I had a discussion about sex, and we didn't do it while lying in bed. Just an honest, frank discussion.

I will admit I used humor to ease into the discussion, but I didn't make it about ML or connection. Just about adults with needs and meeting those. That allowed my W to respond without feeling threatened. It gave her time to consider her answers. It also allowed us to set ground rules so she could be comfortable. The biggest ground rule being that us ML doesn't mean anything and I shouldn't read anything into it.

And so I don't. I take it for what it is. We have fun and enjoy it. Though, and I don't tell her this, despite her words I do know there are biochemical forces at play that you can't just wish away. I'm not banking on those making the difference, but every little bit helps a guy.

And as far as the first time I broached the topic I did it from the "as-if" mentality. It had been six weeks since we last ML (pre-bomb) and thought what's the worse? She says no and then that's where we are. Same with last night when I told her I'd like to have sex. I approached it "as-if". And it worked.

Not exactly going to call it a healthy sex life (twice in two and a half weeks) but it's a heck of a lot healthier than it was!