W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[gunny]

Hey 2,
Sorry you are going through this today. Pretty emotional stuff. Sounds similar to my s 2 weeks before she left.

I see some positives here. She acknowledged your changes, and how positive they were for your r with the kids. You are getting advice from both sides on whether you should leave or stay, eventually you will have to go with what your gut says.

When I was reading your post from the day before about her asking you about church, and how good you felt about her asking about it, I said to myself, watch, I bet the next day she pulls back, almost as if to compensate for being nice the day before. I've read about this happening in other posts on this board. Perhaps her behavior today fits that pattern.

On the letter to your w, I would strongly advise not doing it. She knows your thougths, you have already been told control was one of your issues, she is liable to look at what you are saying, i.e you love her, but if she wants to end the m you will comply, as you trying to control the sitch again, she may tell you that you didnt listen to her the first time she broached the subject of leaving you, and this just proves it. I am saying this from experience. I gave my s a similar letter in the second month of our sitch, and it resulted in her moving her timetable for leaving drastically. She told me later that me writing the letter showed that i did not take her seriously when she first dropped the bomb. That I wasnt listening. Even though I thought writing the letter was perfectly justified, and my IC concurred, she saw it differntly.

Just my 2 kopeks!!