Antonia, I'm sorry that you are losing your kitty. My H and I put our Lab down last year, together. It's always hard.
I agree with beatrice and seeking (as usual). I would tell your XH, just the facts. If he wants to be involved, he will; if not, fine, but at least he won't resent you for not giving him the chance.
I have a vet in the family, and can tell you that they receive a lot of training in the bond between people and their animals, and how hard it is on most of us to lose them. In both of the euthanasias we had to do, the vet and techs were very, very tactful and understanding, and, in fact, cried with us. Don't be afraid to lose it. And try to get all of the paperwork done before you see the vet, because you will likely not want to hang around for it later.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. And I'm so sorry!
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
Hey Antonia, I absolutely am on the alt. I live in Raleigh NC, but we are not allowed to post the contact here
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
I will try one more but because of the TOS of our fearless leader MWD I can not say too much, however I can tell you that she is on the alt too, and has connected with 492 of us.
Originally Posted By: AntoniaB
PS. AJM you're not on the alt, are you? I am connected with most people on the alt but not you...
Sorry but that is the best that I can do.
Keep reading some of the older threads and you might gain some more info.
Wow, I did not expect to hear that I should tell XH.
But I read through all the posts above and I see what all of you are saying...that if I withhold this info, it's a way of sort of being holier than thou, I guess. Kind of like saying "well you left us, so now you don't get to know if one of us is dying."
I wrote him a short email. I thought about calling but I think I'd get emotional and teary. I haven't heard his voice since last Christmas. Wow. That would just open the waterworks.
I basically gave him the facts and said that I wasn't going to know for sure anything till tomorrow, but I may end up euthanizing her then...the only other option is that my sister said she will come Friday if we can do it then, and then stay with me Friday night. I think they could definitely stabilize her till Friday, it's more a question of will they do it Friday afternoon. Normally they close by 2pm and I don't think she can get here by then.
I really fell apart this morning and just cried and said "I NEED HIM." I thought I was done with all that. But in retrospect it's not him so much that I need as "someone" to help, and my sister can be that person.
I don't think he'll say he wants to see her because that would mean coming to my house, and I think he would be afraid to do that. I think it would be very hard on him to come here and to see me. Plus he lives 45 min. away. I just don't see him driving here. But I guess if he asks I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
I heard back from XH. It's probably the nicest email I've gotten from him since he left. In retrospect I'm glad I told him. Now I just need to handle it. Here's his response:
Sorry to hear about (name removed for anonymity). She is a sweet cat and at least the vet's prediction about her years ago didn't come true. She got to live for several happy years as an indoor kitty and I'm sure she loved that Thank you for letting me know, I appreciate it and I will keep you two in my thoughts.
I miss my kitties. I was over at a friend's house on Thursday and he just got a new kitten that looked liked (name removed--our first cat together) when she was little. She was a very sweet kitty and curled right upon my lap. I've considered getting a cat but as soon as I do it eliminates the possibility of several people visiting me due to allergies. I'm sure I will get one eventually.
I hope everything is well and maybe we can communicate under happier circumstances sometime.
Take care,
XH
I had wondered why he never got a cat when he moved. Initially he asked about taking one of ours and I said no way. If he and I were going to be in contact and I could visit, I might have said ok, but I knew that if I gave one up I'd never see her again. So he said he was renting a place that allowed cats because he intended to get one. Makes me wonder if OW is allergic ;-) Had was an avid cat person his whole life. To go from 6 to none seems rough.
Anyway do you all think I should respond to this or just let it stand? I'm not sure what I'd say if I did respond. He was actually very nice and completely normal. Not your typical MLCer, is he?
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
On my experience, which is only me, they have times of doing Mr Pass for normal. They want, a lot of the time, to be the nice guy [or woman]. It is their choices that s*ck.
i would either write back a simple, 'Thanks' or leave it. On balance I would just write 'thanks for this' Otherwise you are starting up a dialogue, and that wasn't the intention . . .
