I don't know what goes on at these meetings, but maybe take your cue from the counselor. I guess if need be it can be brought up about ow, and you can ask the counselor how to handle not wanting S to be around ow. Your H, if he does show up, may be acting very defiant about being found out. My H was shocked at first, then got defiant, like a kid. He acted arrogant, too. I wanted to smack THAT off his face. The drinking definitely should be brought up to the counselor if you are at all concerned he has started back up again.
It could be your H is having a MLC. It could take awhile for it to end, so if you still have some hope for your M, there are things you can do. Even if you do D, that doesn't necessarily mean it's the end.
