Does every new part of this horrific journey hurt as much????
No, it doesn't. Trust me on this one. I think the more you start doing for yourself and coming into your own, you realize who you are and this doesn't define you. Also, over time, the shock value does wear off.
Originally Posted By: Rick1963
You are worthy of love and affection do not forget that.
I absolutley agree with this. 300%.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
She wasn't so safe, okay...but she was NOT THE BE ALL AND END ALL....remember that. You have a son and that part hurts like hell... but deep down you know you deserve better. IT's a drag to start over -we know - but even if you two reconcile, you'll be starting over.
^^^^This is good stuff.
Originally Posted By: In_Shock
I would like to keep the house, kind of as a .....what if she comes back, it's still our home....but at the same time......would it just be better to start myself fresh somewhere new?
Maybe so. With or without her. If were able to get to the point of starting over WITH her, it may not be such a bad thing to start over at a new place.
Originally Posted By: In_Shock
I'm going to GO DARK -- as dark as I can in the same house (for now anyway) ----- What do u guys think???? I will put S to bed at night and then go to 'my' room. Speak with W as little as possible --- while remaining pleasant. Stop inviting her to do things with 'us' (DB coach had me involving her in family things remember) Stop going out to dinner with her weekly.....END that right now.
Perhaps she will miss the good. Perhaps. But I will save ME.
I am curious what your DB coach would say now? It seems like going as dark as you can may be a good thing. It sounds like it may help YOU. However, maybe she would miss the good. Also, it may give her some space she needs.
I agree - you need to get a new therapist yesterday. IMO it sounds like your therapist could be defined as toxic.
I am SO sorry you're going though all of this. Sending hugs your way ((()))
