Changes should be made for the LBS and not as an attempt to sway the MLCer to return home.
I couldn't agree more.
Unfortunately, especially in the beginning of the crisis, the LBS thinks that they can make all of these wonderful changes to themselves and that it will "lure" their Spouse home again.
Changes take time, they have to become a new habit. One has to work on their changes daily, and continue to do the work on themselves every single day regardless of whether or not their WAS knows or not.
The changes have to be internalized, they have to be real.
I have seen too many WAS's return home, only to leave again.
Some left because they returned too soon, which is also part of MLC, and others left because they felt that they had been duped by the LBS.
The changes didn't exist, it was just a temporary thing.
