Learning from the pain....hard lessons

[25yearsmlc]

I am still in bed but haven't been able to sleep any more. I put in a dvd of the big bang theory.

Does every new part of this horrific journey hurt as much????

nope...trust me, it does get better...it's just that a lot of your "Shock" has passed and reality is setting in & THAT hurts...but it passes, to a large extent...

Thanks RIck for checking in on me. I just don't know how to handle today - but I know it's going to be a hard one....

WOW. She couldn't even wait until she moved out. Unbelievable. I NEVER thought she would/could hurt me so much. I had come out of a bad relationship a couple of years before I met W and I purposely picked her b/c she was NICE. To be honest, I thought she was kind of 'bland'-- SAFE......ON PURPOSE I WANTED THAT. True full confession time....i wasn't impressed with her at first, I was just so happy someone nice REALLY REALLY liked me and treated me like a queen.


Don't you dare forget this^^^^! IT IS REALITY (YES - EVEN NOW)! Still is...read that again and again.

She wasn't so safe, okay...but she was NOT THE BE ALL AND END ALL....remember that. You have a son and that part hurts like hell... but deep down you know you deserve better. IT's a drag to start over -we know - but even if you two reconcile, you'll be starting over.



I thought I was in control.

control is over rated...plus it's an illusion, so maybe that's why I say it's overrated...not that you "lost it", it's that you never had it. You control YOU...same as always.

Go figure. But WHY does it have to affect my S????????

Well mary, that happens in m's with kids. If the M breaks up the kids are caught in the middle. I mean, it is what it is. You know this. You're saying "s4's pain makes it worse" BUT some of that is being projected onto him. HE doesn't know what's going on that much yet. Yet...

So Can you lessen the damage to him? Sure.

for now, the best thing you can for HIM, is take care of YOU...otherwise he'll have two AWOL parents. (Your w is too preoccupied now)...

Make sense?


Tears tears tears.......

sorry Mary...hope you're taking GOOD care of yourself... Going anywhere this coming month?