GALing and Boundaries with XH

[AntoniaB]

Wow, I did not expect to hear that I should tell XH.

But I read through all the posts above and I see what all of you are saying...that if I withhold this info, it's a way of sort of being holier than thou, I guess. Kind of like saying "well you left us, so now you don't get to know if one of us is dying."

I wrote him a short email. I thought about calling but I think I'd get emotional and teary. I haven't heard his voice since last Christmas. Wow. That would just open the waterworks.

I basically gave him the facts and said that I wasn't going to know for sure anything till tomorrow, but I may end up euthanizing her then...the only other option is that my sister said she will come Friday if we can do it then, and then stay with me Friday night. I think they could definitely stabilize her till Friday, it's more a question of will they do it Friday afternoon. Normally they close by 2pm and I don't think she can get here by then.

I really fell apart this morning and just cried and said "I NEED HIM." I thought I was done with all that. But in retrospect it's not him so much that I need as "someone" to help, and my sister can be that person.

I don't think he'll say he wants to see her because that would mean coming to my house, and I think he would be afraid to do that. I think it would be very hard on him to come here and to see me. Plus he lives 45 min. away. I just don't see him driving here. But I guess if he asks I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.