Journaling: It has not been a good weekend, I took a bad spill off the front deck Friday morning. Nothing is broken, I have been moving slowly since then, but moving. As I reflect this morning my issues do not hold water against others.

Ruminating: October is always a tough month. I lost several very good friends this month. My sister and father both passed in October and about this time last year STBX began making demands and poking the bear in the cage. I wish I had discovered DR then. I might have seen the smoke screen and began sooner.

It was about this time last year when she connected with old friends and classmates, and began separating emotionally, started an EA with an old HS crush, and firmed another with one of her projects. Sensing her detachment I railed against the project, not suspecting the HS crush. She has created a life within people from HS she connected with and their friends, very deeply involved in her new church. I understand several of her old friends helped found it.

It is all water under the bridge now.

Yesterday I ran into the SIL STBX is estranged from. She was very closed off. There could be many reasons her body language said keep a strangers distance. Still we spoke for a few minutes. I found out DIL and she recently had a few conversations. While I wish DIL would have a few conversations with me it is a good thing she is having them with someone on this side of family.

All is not dreary; it has been a beautiful fall weekend. I have several outside projects to complete, and I was invited to a clambake this afternoon. I have never been a fan of clams possibly b/c I’ve never had “good” ones. I am going for the socialization. I will project a happy confident demeanor. I will have a good time. I will post about it in FB. I will make it known I am living and living well

BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill