"I don't really want to create a future with the person she is choosing to be. It is way too far from whatever idealized notion of her that I have clung to."
Isn't your W only 29 years old and you two married when she was only 20? I wouldn't say she's "choosing" this life. She is actually growing by doing something that she never did before. She's testing out her independence and individuality.
Aside from the LBS building themselves up, DB does another important thing. It allows you to see what your WAS is thinking. The principles can be applied to all relationships in general. As important as GALing is, many forget that understanding and being sympathetic toward how they are feeling is equally important.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
