You can't go totally NC when you have kids and need to take care of business.
Sounds like you are handling things well.
I don't think you made any mistakes. If he is really sorry things are a mess, he will try to help clean it up.
It is hard to know what to advise you about money. My men have always been much better money managers than me. If in your situation, it is the reverse, maybe it isn't bad that you have handled it. Really, I think marriage is about working together and making the most of each others strengths so the other's weaknesses don't cause problems.
