Keeping hope alive - Ctflor Part ll

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks for the perspective 25,

You are right, this move is good for me no matter the outcome. I think I shifted from being worried each day that he was going to leave, to worrying he may still leave. I had about a week reprieve of not worrying too much when he said he wanted to stay. Then it's back to feeling anxious again.

I agree that negativity could ruin this, so I'm struggling to keep positive. He told me this afternoon that he was sorry for what he put me through but he just wants to move forward.

I don't think mc is going to help our marriage. I think individual therapy is better... however, I worry an independent therapist could be just as destructive. I don't know.

look at how paralyzed you are...get T if you want it! Let him do as he wants...or what? Divorce him b/c he wont' go and you fear he'll divorce you if he doesn't go...but you fear he'll leave if he does?? You CAN change your mind if it's not helping...

I have been to therapy in the past for my own childhood issues, and it saved my life. So I'm not against therapy...

Once again I have to let it go... even if he stays, this is still not within my control.

Newsflash--we ALL take this ^^^ risk, every day. Seriously...


I think my h is detached in some ways .... from his behavior last summer. If he doesn't understand what made him "go crazy" as he puts it, then it could happen again.

I disagree. If he knows the DAMAGE he caused and almost caused, that ought to be enough to motivate him not to repeat the behavior. Plus if he "has his reasons" then it could justify it...Besides, I doubt my h knows "why" he HAD to go to Alaska...still!

But he doesn't want to lose us for it. He KNOWS that...and that's enough for me.


I need to move on to reading more on piecing... cause you are right... if I'm negative, and constantly worried, he will sense that.

yep...oh and you will be miserable even though you got what you said you wanted....kind of a sad sitch, and hopefully NOT a reflection on your approach to things. IF SO, change it.