25- thanks for taking the time, going to read all this when I get back from having lunch with my neighbor - right now - this is an aside (something else I need help with)
I'm confused right now. I wanted to go away next weekend - so important.
I'm not b/c L told me "If you want to fight for custody, I wouldn't"
But I don't want to fight for custody. I want this man to have custody! I just want my D to sleep and do what's in her best interest. AND I want/need/have to travel. On a regular basis. Somehow. I NEED TO DO THIS FOR MY SANITY.
I want to travel regularly to italy. I want to meet a man who travels and maybe we'll live overseas one day. These are dreams I'm not ready to part with and thinking of a path where exBF and I are contentiously in court fighting for custody is not the way to this.
I have no intentions on proving him to be an unfit dad. Does he do stuff that freaks me out? Yeah, but he's not going to kill our kid. And I can't control this. She'll get effed up or she won't. My friend with a 15 year old has a daughter who is effed up now b/c of a very similar sitch but what could she have done?
These are scary thoughts, but I stay home and don't leave D with exBF and not go on my trip just in case I have to go to court to prove his is unfit? NOOOO.... I am not ever going to do that unless there are majorly egregious acts going on. Will I miss D when she is gone from me and at his house? Hell yeah. Will I suffer? You bet. Will I hate that she comes back exhausted, and hate her life being so shuffling back and forth? probably.
But as far as I can tell there's NOTHING I CAN DO But fight him in court (or hope that he moves to california and gives up - ha) and I'm not interested in fighting him in court b/c that is only going to hurt me and my interests.
Is there something I'm missing here? b/c even my coaching buddies are coaching me not to go next weekend, and there's a voice in me that is saying what I just wrote above.
