It's time to let go part II

[Rick1963]

Thinking of making these without rasins. My D loves them


Ingredients
1/2 cup shortening
2 onions, chopped
1 pound lean ground beef
2 teaspoons Hungarian sweet paprika
3/4 teaspoon hot paprika
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon distilled white vinegar
1/4 cup raisins
1/2 cup pitted green olives, chopped
2 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
salt to taste
1 (17.5 ounce) package frozen puff pastry sheets, thawed (I use Goya)




Directions
1. In a saute; pan melt the shortening and add the chopped onions. Cook the onions until just before they begin to turn golden. Remove from the heat and stir in the sweet paprika, hot paprika, crushed red pepper flakes and salt to taste.
2. Spread the meat on a sieve and pour boiling water on it for partial cooking. Allow meat to cool. Place meat in a dish add salt to taste, cumin and vinegar. Mix and add the meat to the onion mixture. Mix well and place on a flat to dish to cool and harden.
3. Cut puff pastry dough into 10 round shells. Place a spoonful of the meat mixture on each round; add some of the raisins, olives and hard boiled egg. Avoid reaching the edges of the pastry with the filling because its oiliness will prevent good sealing. Slightly wet the edge of the pastry, fold in two and stick edges together. The shape should resemble that of a half-moon. You should have a 2/3 to 1/2 inch flat edge of pastry to work with. Seal by twisting edge, step by step, between thumb and index finger, making sure to add pressure before releasing the pinch and moving on to the next curl. Other sealing procedures like pinching without curling or using a fork to seal will not prevent juice leaks during baking, and empanadas must be juicy.
4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). Place empanadas on a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Be sure to prick each empanada with a fork near the curl to allow steam to escape during baking. Glaze with egg for shine and bake until golden, about 20 to 30 minutes.

[realormakebeliev]

Hi Rick, like many others have said the WAS is on a roller coaster so try not to take it personally.

I like your 180 about being more of an extrovert- that is a change that might really serve you well in the future. We have to remember the changes we make are for us, not them, and if it in turn helps our marriages then great! But regardless of what happens, we have done something good for US that we can be proud of.

Take care!

[Rick1963]

Ps they are Argentine empanadas. I think W is trying to get me into a fight not sure why.

[aeolianchaos]

Hey rick,

I like that you are taking such good care for your D.

Earlier you mentioned that you feel that you are the opposite of a narcissist and I wonder if that feeling isn't something to explore a little bit? I'm sure you are probably a naturally humble and self-effacing person, but perhaps some of your (previously mentioned) anger is coming from frustration at not really internalizing the solid parts of who you are.

I'm not suggesting you become a narcissist or try to be an extrovert if you are an introvert.. but perhaps explore peeling all the layers apart a little bit and see which ones are you and which ones are coping strategies that you've internalized.

It's just a thought -- and it gives you something to explore when all the mini-crises pop up.

[Rick1963]

Real and Aeo I'm introverted in certain areas mostly in a large groups who I don't know. people are shock when I say that I'm anxious because of how I appear to them. I really is a struggle but something to change. Monday when I went to my 1st group I was surprised that I was not anxious and actually talk to strangers, especially with woman about my stich.

Today my head is spinning out of comtrol. I think it is a reaction to my W's coldness today and last night. Went shopping this morning and just told D that I'm was making Empanadas. She is so excited and told me she was thinking about asking me to make them. So I wll cook usually cooking relaxes me. This is just one bad dream, really. W went to the barn even though it is awful outside. Cold windy raning like hell. She goes on as if nothing is happening. Things have not improved I think they are worse. I think she is DBing me?

[2thepoint]

Hey Rick! I've always wondered what would be the effect of DB'ng while being DB'd and I just can't wrap my mind around it. So my best advice is to be the best DB there is and your W won't be able to help but be interested. Remember, it takes a lot of time to take root and bear fruit.

Keep your head up! We're all pulling for you!

[Rick1963]

2the I think we would end up D fatser if we were DBing each other.

[Rick1963]

W has been really cold and distant last 2 days. She was even cold to my D yesterday. D and I spent lots tome together cooking and video gaming W looked angry. Something is wrong do nOt know what it is. Should I ask her?

[workinghardguy]

Nope. If she wants to tell you, she will. Remember that this is all counter intuitive. For the most part I've found that I have definitely NOT listen to my first instinct, pause, and think it through.

She probably looks angry because she is. But do not own her anger and discord. It's HER anger and discord. She's told you what her problems with you are. You're working on them. What more can she ask for? If she's still angry, she's still angry. But you don't have to feel bad about it. She's choosing to wallow in her pain.

So leave it be. Let her be angry, sullen, or whatever.

Plus... if you ask her what are the odds that the answer will be painful for you? 99%? 99.9%? What will this do to you? Make you happy? Increase your PMA? No... it will hurt you and make you sad and angry. Now your d has no one in the house who isn't sad and angry. If nothing else, be strong for her.

[2thepoint]

I agree with WHG's post. If your W is mad/sad, let her deal with it. It may very likely be that she has been observing your close interaction with your daughter and she is feeling a sense of loss since she is not part of that picture. So step back from the urge to do or say anything.

I often find myself in situations where I feel an overwhelming need to react to events. Sometimes I react and sometimes I choose not to and instead wait to see how things play out. It's interesting, during those times where I pause and don't immediately react I often find that events have a tendency to catch up with themselves and some new dynamic enters the picture.

I think for now, let events play out. You just might be surprised what you see in Act II. IT could turn out to be a fantastic show!