Had to post here as in my past Anger was pretty much my defining emotion.

I was angry a lot, frustrated a lot, disappointed most of the time. Fun to live with? You figure it out!

I discovered after bomb #1 (and for a good time afterwards) that the anger had been shocked right out of me.

I think I NEEDED that, frankly. I'd become addicted to it.

I learned that MUCH of my anger was surface...that the real emotions fueling it were sadness, pointless perfectionism, FEAR.

I chose anger, because anger FEELS powerful.

Now when I get irked I try to sit with it, identify where it's coming from and what's underlying it.

I respect my anger (boy I was angry during the first part of our argument on Thursday night! ) but I try NOT to fuel it.

It is REAL easy once angry to remember all kinds of OTHER stuff to be angry about! It's called "state dependent memory".

Shiny

P.S. You know the old idea of getting rid of anger by yelling screaming, pounding your partner with a sponge bat...the catharsis thing?...well experiments have SHOWN that people tend to be MORE angry at their S after such "catharsis"!!!

Am I saying to stuff it down! NO WAY...look at what that did to CJ!!...we just have to make legit anger work FOR us!