Focus on his actions. There's a reason we and the c's and t's and MWD say to ignore the words of someone behaving inconsistently with them or confusingly. The comment about not abandoning--those words were totally meaningless. No need to label. All that mattered was that he didn't answer his phone for 3 days[/color]
So, 25, let me know if I'm wrong here, I just want to be clear -
His words "I have no intentions on abandoning my family or my daughter" in an email means nothing. Correct? They are just words. Correct...
His behavior - leaving D in a room to scream. Then leaving the house without telling anyone. Texting me that he needs rest and cannot parent when she's out of control but then hearing nothing from him again until Wed night (the "i'm not abandoning email) even when I called and left a VM asking him what she ate for dinner that night b/c she vomited, and if we can discuss what happened. And then showing up late on the day he sees her is ... Behavior.
And that's what I pay attention to. Yes...
But not judge, is what you're saying - not "make it into something" - but just watch and go "Okay, he's not here. He's not doing a, b, c."
Cause right now - that's what I'm responding to in my life. I can't COUNT on him anymore. correct...you cannot count on him for anything but what the court orders him to pay, and even then, only if he remains employed...
He is unreliable in many ways. I need sleep and I need to take care of D and build my business. He hasn't even asked for her to go to his house anymore (or stay over -) (he probably will once I move - but he saw how distressed she ended up the two times he did it, even without me saying a word about it).
I'm responding to what I need to do - not the "blah blah blah - I'll call a child psychologist." "Oh, hey, I'm going away for a week."
See, cause I believe the words. Duh!
don't bother labeling it b/c it won't help you...but yeah, you're on your own for now.
the anger won't help you either. Being independent WILL....Not needing him, WILL help.
Oh, LIla, don't spend energy resenting his vacation trip. It's like resenting him winning the lottery.
His happiness cannot be an index of yours.
If he gets sick, it can't make you happy and if he gets a bonus, you can't feel sad..
you need to spend your energy on making YOUR LIFE WONDERFUL....not even noticing his...
and being with your D, recalling her childhood moments and milestones...
and your ex bf? who knows?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
