W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[2thepoint]

I completed my DB Coach session this afternoon and it seemed to go fairly well. The coach thinks I am making good progress and that I should continue to look for small signs that W is taking notice (i.e. when W comments on changes shes observed, laughs more, shares space, etc.). She said that my W's willingness to "share space" with me is a big plus, (I mentioned in an earlier post that my W joined me and the kids for a few innings of the world series yesterday). She also said there is a lot of power in asking questions so avoid verbal controlling behaviors and ask questions as opposed to making statements.

I shared some examples of where I recognized how my W might have interpreted recent actions as potentially controlling and that after reflection I went back to seek additional input and confirmation of decisions and she thought that was good.

We discussed the potential move out again and I explained that my W's parents will be in town soon and spending the holiday in our home and that our current living arrangements (me in the MB, W in the guest BR) might be a contributing factor in my W's desire for me to be out of the house (shes not going to want to share the same bed with me once her parents arrive and she has to give up the guest BR). She asked me what my wife would say if I asked her "what is the most comfortable way for you to enjoy Thanksgiving once your parents arrive". Would she say "you need to be out of the house" or would there be another response? My gut says she would say "you need to be out of the house." So she suggested I pose the question differently - "how can Thanksgiving work the best for you?" and gauge the response. I'll know then what I need to do.

Coach recommended I explore L ramifications of a move as some on this board have also suggested. She also said that if I choose to "go dark" that I should hold off until more positive changes and interactions have occurred to allow for them to be cemented which would create the greatest opportunity for W to recognize and miss them when they are absent.

So, all in all a pretty good session both with my IC and the DB coach.

Note to self - don't schedule IC and DB coaching sessions on the same day. Too much re-plowing of the same old ground.