Back home - but for how long?

[NYCPeter]

Thanks for the responses...

"What are you thinking of doing next"

I have no real plan - continue DBing, continue being the best father and husband I can. If a more definitive event occurs i.e. receiving papers or a clear revealing of an A then I'd need to reconsider next steps.

"Is there any way to reset that rule now without tipping your hand? I don't know. It would have been easier when you truly didn't know anything. What do you think?"

Not sure what I can say to reset the rule - I am trying to avoid any R talk and this takes us down that path.

"If you could magically transmit a message into your W's brain that she would believe as fact about this situation (potential OM) what would it be?"

That I don't blame her for anything, but it would need to stop if we were to have any chance of reconciliation. BUT right now every indicator shows she does not want reconciliation.

"What can you do to not obsess over the things above? Can you reasonably detatch and stop thinking about it?"

I think a good idea I received was - Think of myself as divorced and behave that way. Why would it matter if we were D.

I think the only way I would have the talk is if this was clearly revealed as an A.

2thepoint shed a different angle on the convo - and while it may be wishful thinking on my part I like that version better - I can certainly see it as a possibility.

She definitely has got colder over the last few weeks and that may be due to a rekindling of an affair or as W has put it when we got close in the past "I don't want to give you false hope".