As far as believing what he says and not attributing negative stuff I get stuck a little
Like I'm in IC and IC is helping me see that I often get myself into Rs where I don't get my needs met - now I realize that if I had done better and been healthier around that, I may not have chosen exBF in the first place. But sometimes we talk about him to show how I didn't get my needs met and he couldn't give me what I needed. So I don't mean it to be negative, but it feels inherent in this kind of discussion.
Also, my old IC and this new one have both said - believe what they do not what they say, and I don't know where to fall on that. "I'm not abandoning my family" as he drives off without telling anyone and doesn't answer his phone for three days ... I wrote and said "I didn't say you did, but what should I think when you do that, you tell me" kind of thing (trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know what that is - certainly not the normal behavior of functioning beings)
