Thanks for the info. What I'd do then is doublecheck with BF as a courtesy to see if he'd be OK still going together (real casual, and don't go into what anyone thinks or who knows or R talks) - just make it sound like you think it would be fun and if he still thinks so then let's plan on it. Keep the tone light.

Assuming he's ok with it, go - and DB like crazy. Look good, have fun, brush off any R talk from anyone (I found "oh we're taking it day by day" to be a useful noncommittal brush-off response), and enjoy your D. That is all very attractive. Be prepared for someone to corner you - thank them for their concern and use your brush off response.

As I mentioned in my thread, I think it's pretty clear that outside support or people "talking to" the wayward one does no good at all and just gives them a chance to reinforce their thinking.

Being attractive and fun on the other hand, does NO harm and can do lots of good.

So that's what I would do.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.