at the start of this HE told your realtor that he wanted to wait for you to go back to work so he could THEN file & have a better negotiating leverage?
To me that means what I thought it meant; he'd pay less. It's a strategy, not a doubt about his decision. Period. Yes it could buy you time but that also means lowered assets and your financial problems are a drag... So, I'm hoping you have seen a L to discuss protecting yourself and the kids.
OW has a lot to lose by divorcing her h, I assume. Is she well paid in her field? Let's hope so b/c if she is, YOU can get more money if they live together as her income can count...AND if she's not, then your h can stare at her and wonder why that is...
I have seen families broken up b/c of affairs and often there's a need for them to feel they have proved that they did the right thing. They deny ANY problems.
Don't ask him how it's going for them, ever. It's just not going to be a true answer, even if he thinks it is. And if it's ever going bad AND if he'd be in the mood to tell YOU that (not likely there) But if so, he will.
No need to ask. btw I'd be astonished if OW and your h make it long term, and have no regrets.
Of course I have no idea what her h was REALLY like, but her kids are going to be troubled by all this, especially if they are older.
Among other things, It's just a logistical drag to have done what they seem to be doing.
My uncle, or former uncle??, left my aunt decades ago for OW, whom he married.
2 things I Know happened. 1) OW called my aunt years later to see if uncle was at my aunt's house, MEANING uncle was cheating on his "new" wife, the original OW...and she had to ask the first wife if he was with her! Has to have been a tough call to make!
2) the uncle told his mother 'If I'd known how much pain I'd be causing, I never would have left."
My aunt was a great wife, btw. Yes it happens to the good ones. He's just a cheater and so was OW. THE OW/w has to live with the doubts that come with marrying an adulterer...(my aunt remarried and is quite happy in her life now. Took a few years, but she put herself out there and refused to be bitter and it paid off well. She's a loving and well loved woman).
I have to wonder how your h will react when the inevitable fight occurs and OW loses her temper & lashes out as we ALL do at some points... maybe she's a crier or will whine...your h lacks conflict resolution skills in the heat of the moment, correct? That should be interesting.
Don't assume all is perfect with them. It's not possible. And they are hurting a lot of people with their choices.
Yes-he'll have second thoughts. He will resent missing out on his children's lives and she will resent his time with his kids...if she has her own kids with them, that's a whole other ballgame. Hassles galore. They just don't know it yet.
He may say to himself "If this fighting stuff is going to happen anyhow, I may as well have stayed where my kids live"
or if you keep up your personal work, he'll say "Wow, while my x w has become calm and centered, the "perfect OW' has become cranky...oops"
Your goal is to Look and be your moral/behavioral emotional spiritual happiest best self
when that day comes, and it will.
Yes yes of course, this is not about him-it's about you living your life well.
But I just know he'll wonder as you continue to grow into a happier woman and it shows...
(( ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
