I'm still here part III

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling----

I know, your probably tired of hearing about it but my new carpet looks amazing!
It matches the paint perfectly, and gives this place an entirely different look.

Last night the kids & I put our apt back together and relaxed. S15 kept commenting on how much more he liked the place now that it's been updated. I don't mean to make it sound like we live in a dive, because we most certainly don't. However, the walls had various holes in them from pictures being hung here and there and the carpet was just disgusting.

I've decided to take my time to find things to put on the walls. I want to pick out nicer things to accent the living room instead of just covering up space. It's very exciting! It feels new.

I had a dream about H last night. He had come here to get the rest of his belongings, and he told me he was in love with OW and he decided to be with her. I got so angry that I took both my hands and tried to rip his face off. Of course I woke up after that and felt very sad, but I was able to get back to sleep..

The reality of it all is he may very well end up with OW and there isn't anything I can do about it. I try not to think about it, but I am sure most of you know how that goes.

[Brian in Hville]

You sounds really good DG...I am happy for you! I still have holes in my walls from all the things me ex took. I have NO idea how to "accent" or anything like that. So the little holes are more or less permanent!

[~¤DG¤~]

I texted H today.
I know I probably shouldn't, but the last thing I want is for him to think I don't care. I simply said that I was thinking about him. He didn't answer, and he more than likely won't, but I said it and I don't feel bad about it.

[Valeska19]

Not trying to hit you with a 2x4 at all.. but do you really think he doesn't know you care??

It is seriously just a question and one I ask myself every time I have those thoughts about my own spouse.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling---

As I predicted, H did not respond to my text.
Why do I hold out this little bit of hope just to get it stomped on?

Just watched The Great Pumpkin with S10.
I don't think I've ever told you all what a huge Peanuts fan I am. Since I was a young girl.

I dunno...not much else going on.

[~¤DG¤~]

Not trying to hit you with a 2x4 at all.. but do you really think he doesn't know you care??

It is seriously just a question and one I ask myself every time I have those thoughts about my own spouse.

I don't view that as a 2x4 at all. That's why I like you Valeska, you ask very valid questions.
I don't know what he thinks anymore, anything is possible I suppose.

My grandfather had a heart attack yesterday. He & his W were on a bus tour when he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe and collapsed.
His W called 911 and thankfully they got there very quickly or else he would have died.
he has some clots in his heart, so they have him on bed rest & blood thinners to hopefully dissolve them. If the clots move, it could be fatal.
Despite all of this, he seems in pretty good spirits. When I heard the news I told the boys and we sent a quick prayer up to God that he'll be ok.
I debated telling my H, but then decided against it.

I'm sure eventually someone will post something on FB regarding it and we have a lot of mutual friends. He'll find out that way.

I have a pretty busy weekend planned with the kids. Tomorrow we are all getting hair cuts, then attending a Halloween party being thrown
By an organization my parents belong to.
If the weather is decent, we are also going to hit up a pumpkin patch. They have a petting zoo with all sorts of animals and since I absolutely LOVE goats, I want to go.

Tonight I plan on watching tv and admiring my new carpet.

[jbnati]

DG, I'll be in prayer about your grandfather. Glad to hear it sounds like he's doing relatively OK right now.

I don't think you needed to reach out to your H. I wonder if you'll even hear anything from him when he finds out - I wouldn't count on it.

Sound like you have have some fantastic plans lined up for the weekend. Enjoy your new carpet, too!

[verycrazy]

Hi, DG, I said a prayer for your GF. Thank God for quick emergency workers.

Please pet a goat for me; I've been telling my H for years that I want a couple of goats. I love them, they are so darling. But, no fainting goats, they would be passed out all the time around here. Have a nice weekend.

vc

[realormakebeliev]

DG, more prayers for your grandfather here, too.

I know what you mean about hoping for something that just doesn't happen. I check my stupid phone about every 2 minutes it seems like. Hoping for what, exactly, I don't know. But we know what should not do anyway, right? I keep thinking of that expression, hope for the best and expect the worst. So true lately.

I love hearing about your new place! Those things always make things seem 'fresh' and puts you in a different mind set, doesn't it? I guess I'm living vicariously through you now!

Take care!

[~¤DG¤~]

Thank you for the prayers, I really do appreciate them.

He is doing better, and it sounds like he may be able to go home tomorrow night. He will have to give himself injections 2x's a day but that is easy to manage. I'm not exactly sure what his follow up care is yet, but the fact that he is going home is a good sign, right?