Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Yesterday was one of the best days I've "felt" in a long time.

DateHookup lady and I messaged several times. A date will be happening soon. We were going to talk on phone -- she gave me her number, but then she didn't pick up.

Still, it looks promising.

D12 has been asking a lot of questions about boy-girl stuff. Ahh 7th grade. I called up a Facebook friend that I had a huge crush on in 7th grade and showed D12. I told her I was too chicken to say anything.

D12 looked at her and said, "wow, she's beautiful." And she is.

Then the conversation turned to how certain people find you attractive. I told her it seems as if medium-height, brown-eyed, brunettes like my type. All of my girlfriends were brunettes (including XW) except for two blondes. I wasted a lot of nights chasing after blondes. DateHookup though is a blonde.

D12 asked me why boys do certain things. I said, well, boys are stupid sometimes. I called up one of the two blondes on Facebook -- I'm still friends with both -- and told D12, "I was really stupid. I broke up with this one."

The blonde was the county fair queen here and went on to be a model and she's still gorgeous.

D12 look at her and says, "yeah dad. That was dumb."

I had the girls for the night. D9 was great until it was time to turn off the TV and then she started going down the wrong path. I got her to sleep though and today she was excited to go to school because she has Tae Kwon Do class. I went to the class. D9 follows rules, is polite, is patient and works hard.

This may be the thing that she loves. We've been trying to find "it" for years.

Another conversation with D12. She says her ex boyfriend (she's 12, I can't believe I'm typing this line) won't talk to her.

I told her rejection is a hard thing to get over. Look at XW and me. I asked her how I look when XW is around.

She said, "When mom gets here you look angry or sad."

I told her it's going to take time for me to get past the rejection, and I've been through it before. Her ex-boyfriend (stomach tied in knots again) probably never has.

XW did come over again last night. D12 had to decorate a cake at her house. I just felt fine for once. I'll admit knowing much of the "grass is greener" things haven't panned out how she dreamed helps.

I am on the upswing. I know it. I see it. I feel it. Ten years from now I think I'll look back with pride on these years. I didn't let this beat me.