alcoholic H decided he wants D

[imthemom]

still no D papers ....after all his pushing and preasureing, im confused on that point. after telling him several times that this was not what i wanted and would not patticipate in it, and if he did file I would get my own lawyer to protect myself and my S, i finally broke and told him fine, i wont fight it anymore, lets sit down and work it out and he could file the papers with his paralegal that he had already paid for. No reply...and that was a week ago. He has not mentioned it since.
I am trying not to take this as a sign of his hesitation, that just makes it harder.
Yesterday out of the blue my S14 says "im going to live with D"..."well not just me, all of us are going to live with D, why cant we just do that?"..it broke my heart..
I didnt say much, just that we couldnt do that right now and sat with him to see if he needed to say anything else. I had him call a friend and took them to pizza to get his mind off of it and seemed to work.
everytime my S says something like that it makes me angrier and helps me not to wallow in my pain, anger is never a good thing, but at this point it is getting me threw.
ended up not going to D support group to stay with S and take him to pizza but spoke to leader and will start next Wed.
the only set back Ive had was filling out papers for something the other day and they asked for emergancy contact....realized that i didnt have one of those anymore, He was it...that made me feel very alone and sad....