Tonight was a mixed bag. I had my S. Overall we had a good time together, but there was some drama mixed in.
After dinner my S said he was going to mention something about my W that would probably make me mad. He asked if I was going to be mad if he told me Mommy was going out on a date tonight. I guess he overheard something this morning. After awhile the shock value wears off. However, it is really hurting him. We ended talking about what the right thing to do is. He knows the difference between right and wrong. He said he wished Mommy would go back to church. He said one of the reasons he goes over there is to try to get her to do the right thing. I just told him he can't change her. He said she's not being a very good Mom. He said he goes over there and it's rare that she spends time with him. He even went as far as to say if she wanted someone who would love her and make her better, she should just come home. How do you respond to a 10 year old?
I am losing respect for my W. I don't like this person she's turning into. I don't like what she's doing, and it does hurt. I think it would hurt more if I hadn't been working on myself so much or if there was some shock value attached. She may tell me it's nothing serious, but it's WRONG. And it could easily turn into something serious. Don't get me wrong - I still love her. But she's hard to love. It makes me more ambivalent toward D for sure. I will continue to do the right thing, though. As far as I'm concerned, there's no other way. I have no plans to pursue D myself as I don't think it's the right answer, but I'm not as worried about seeing any paperwork anymore. Now - could I reconcile with her? Probably, but we'd need a lot of help. I can't automatically say that I could. It's not like it's anything I need to worry about in the immediate future.
Despite all this, my S and I did still have a good time carving his pumpkin. We both bounced back and just enjoyed each other. We posted the pumpkin on FB just for grins. We're advertising our GAL'ing nowadays.
