untethering

[aeolianchaos]

Can you explain this more Aeo? Why couldn't you get a job.. did you have to move frequently? What am I missing here?

We basically moved every year of our marriage.

Neither of us had a 'job' per se.. much like your work in production, as musicians we relied on getting work as freelancers while also pursuing long term work through the audition circuit.

I had been working more often than her back in 2008, but when she got a year-long contract and we relocated in 2009, there really wasn't anything in terms of freelance work available to me. However, we had been operating on a basis of trying to get by on only gigs.. not getting part time jobs to supplement that. So we would go through lean times, and then times where things were 'ok'.. although it was usually pretty lean.

In hindsight, that kind of thinking didn't serve either of us well.. but it was the plan we followed.

Over the past 2.5 years, her gig schedule blew up and she got to go on at least three European tours while my work withered and died. This was part of my hitting rock bottom.. if you wikipedia burnout, I was around phases 10 and 11 for most of the year leading up to that point.

It sukked. big time. And yet I didn't even recognize it as it was happening. I defended my actions and choices and tenaciously clung to the idea that I was doing something to make myself happy at the same time as I was making myself more and more miserable.