Yes, DB is hard! You have to be very careful what you say. You don't want to make H feel responsible for your feelings. If he feels that way, he will feel badly and resent you for it. If he's responsible for your unhappiness, it will be harder for him to approach you. He doesn't want to do the work to make you happy right now. He doesn't want you to expect him to make you happy. If you're happy and don't blame him, you're much easier to approach and engage with.

This is very hard for all of us, we have to do all the work and walk on eggshells. That's because we want to get the marriage back on track, but the spouse doesn't. That puts the full burden on us.

Keep at it, you're doing great. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone backslides, all you can do is pick yourself up and keep going.

--Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015