AC, None of this make sense.. not to us anyway. To our WAS, it makes perfect sense. We cannot change this. We don't have to embrace it with open arms.. but we must accept what we cannot change. This is part of letting go.
Originally Posted By: any chance?
I have decided to let the D go through, and to do it as soon as possible. Time to end this thing. If she needs the D to move forward, so be it. She can have it.
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Were you stopping her before or are you trying to accept it now? What's the rush?
Originally Posted By: any chance?
I have not given up my shred of hope. But this has to happen to move forward, and my W needs a dose of reality.
How are you stopping her from experiencing reality? Do you think she doesn't feel that in her new state, away from her family, and friends, struggling to find a new life, new job?? Full of new fears??
Sure she does!! Because that's what life does. It shows us our reality and it allows consequences to our actions.
Just another part of letting go.
AC - It is not your place to cause consequences.. only to allow them. It's not your place to show a "dose of reality".. only to allow it to happen.
Make sure you know the difference.. because one comes from a place of Loving from a distance vs. coming from a place of anger.
You mention about how choosing the high road has destroyed you. Maybe that is because you are looking at it wrong.
The high road is more painful.. thus far less traveled. It's a narrow road that when the fog of our emotions get in the way.. we lose track of it.
When it doesn't lead to the place we want it to, we are tempted to change paths.
But realize that you struggling with taking the high road has very little to with your w and more to do with you.
Be proud of your strength thus far. Appreciate that you have loved your w (regardless of the outcome). Realize that you are a better man because you CHOSE the high road vs. walking away.
Focus on those thoughts and you will see that the high road is really the only road we should take. It leads to us being a better person.. it leads to us having a better life.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
