too much time and distance

[any chance?]

I have decided to let the D go through, and to do it as soon as possible. Time to end this thing. If she needs the D to move forward, so be it. She can have it.

I have not given up my shred of hope. But this has to happen to move forward, and my W needs a dose of reality.

[gunny]

Good luck AC, we are pulling for you!

[Valeska19]

AC,
None of this make sense.. not to us anyway. To our WAS, it makes perfect sense. We cannot change this. We don't have to embrace it with open arms.. but we must accept what we cannot change. This is part of letting go.

I have decided to let the D go through, and to do it as soon as possible. Time to end this thing. If she needs the D to move forward, so be it. She can have it.

.

Were you stopping her before or are you trying to accept it now? What's the rush?

I have not given up my shred of hope. But this has to happen to move forward, and my W needs a dose of reality.

How are you stopping her from experiencing reality? Do you think she doesn't feel that in her new state, away from her family, and friends, struggling to find a new life, new job?? Full of new fears??

Sure she does!! Because that's what life does. It shows us our reality and it allows consequences to our actions.

Just another part of letting go.

AC - It is not your place to cause consequences.. only to allow them. It's not your place to show a "dose of reality".. only to allow it to happen.

Make sure you know the difference.. because one comes from a place of Loving from a distance vs. coming from a place of anger.

You mention about how choosing the high road has destroyed you. Maybe that is because you are looking at it wrong.

The high road is more painful.. thus far less traveled. It's a narrow road that when the fog of our emotions get in the way.. we lose track of it.

When it doesn't lead to the place we want it to, we are tempted to change paths.

But realize that you struggling with taking the high road has very little to with your w and more to do with you.

Be proud of your strength thus far. Appreciate that you have loved your w (regardless of the outcome). Realize that you are a better man because you CHOSE the high road vs. walking away.

Focus on those thoughts and you will see that the high road is really the only road we should take. It leads to us being a better person.. it leads to us having a better life.

[any chance?]

V:
Thank you. You raise good points. I am acting out of love for my W. She needs this D to close this chapter and move on, then she shall have it as soon as possible. I have not delayed anything, but I have not moved forward on the D independantly either. I think it is time for me to assist in the process, that's all.

[Valeska19]

AC
Cool. As long as you know your heart.. that is all that matters.

Keep on keeping on.

[any chance?]

Does anyone know of any good books that deal with Forgiveness and Rebuilding Trust?

[any chance?]

Struggling here.

W left yesterday, and I accepted the direction the journey is taking us. Today I am struggling. Need to get out of my funk and back to GAL activities. Simply must do it. Cannot lose sight of the high road, cannot succumb to the overwhelming negativity and loniliness. Need to make it through this.

Must GAL. Need to move into positive light.

Thanks for listening. Let me know if anyone knows of good books on Forgiveness and Rebuilding Trust.

[NTX_Dad]

AC -

Sorry, I didn't know you started a new thread.

I can feel your pain and confusion as I read your posts... your W is puzzling for sure.

I don't know much about depression but it certainly sounds like that's her state of mind. Does she have any family you can talk to, to get insight and possible help? Or do you and her share the same doctor? I know HIPPA prevents medical professionals from discussing other peoples' health, but if you know the doctor, maybe you can meet with them and express your concerns about her to see if they can offer advice.

How to handle mental health is a tricky issue. If someone is physically sick, one would do everything they can to help. If someone has a mental condition, it's hard to know if their decision making is what they really want, or if it's a symptom of their sickness and that one should intervene. I am not sure what one should do.

[any chance?]

Had a session with IC today. She says that it is good for me to accept the D, as it will allow me to start to heal. We shall see.

The D is a piece of paper my W needs. I think her roughest times are still in front of her, after she recognizes her new professional, social and financial situation. W says she needs this. She is going to get what she wants. Hope she is ready for it.

I suspect she is going to be needing some serious support once reality sets in. We shall see.

Still looking for good books on Rebuilding Trust and Forgiveness

[any chance?]

I think reality is being to sink into my head. W is lost to me, probably forever.

Need to move on with D, and move on with life. Need to return to GAL activities immediately. W is on a path with no known destination, and she wants to travel it alone.

Anyone know any good books on Rebuilding Trust? Forgiveness?