Starting Over

[Harrier]

I just worry you are using the sleep issues with D as an excuse to not have D stay over at her dads. I mean it seems that both times it was "disaster" in your words and that's a good excuse to just not try it. And I'm sure exbf got an earful from you about it.

I really wonder about how you see co-parenting? is it you make the decisions and he goes along with them? or is it you both come to a decision together? I mean the child psychologist is a good example. Exbf suggested it, but it went no where. Why didn't you take the ball and run with it.

I'm baffled as to how you allowed this sleep problem to go on and on for months, I know that sounds judgmental. But you are just continuing the problem by giving in to her whims night after night.

When my W was working with our oldest son on his sleep training. We decided that he had to learn how to fall asleep without us and in his own bed and stay there. I remember one particular night. She'd did short routine, put him down, said good night and left the room. Of course, he got up. My wife waited outside the door and when he opened up, she took his hand and led him back to bed and didn't look at him or talk to him.
She did this literally 50 or so times. Until he finally stayed put. That was the last time we had any sleep issues with him.

Like DBing, sleep issues take hard work, constant effort, patience and no back sliding. And it can be heart wrentching at times (& i'm not even talking about CIO) And it can be done at different residences.


I will amend my post to Ken. I don't think he suggested that kids set their own bedtime, but upon further reflection he was suggest that the kid can set a reasonable bedtime if you look for the signs. (although, I do note that my 2YO rarely has the "classical signs" but pretty much goes to bed the same time).

LG, sorry if this posts sounds judgmental or harsh. I think you agree that getting the sleep issue resolves is best for both you and her. I won't mention it again.